Christmas on Crimson Mountain Read online

  He’d been so gentle with the girl the first time she’d fallen. After a few moments Ranie had gotten up with a huge smile on her face, dusted the ice off her legs and kept going. It was the tenderness that affected April the most. She could deal with moody Connor and even handle her attraction to him. But the gentleness was so at odds with who he pretended to be that it slid into her soul and made her want more than either one of them was willing to give.

  “I’m out of practice with the human part,” he said quietly.

  “Yet suddenly you’re willing to work on it?”

  He turned to her more fully. “Isn’t that what you wanted?”

  She sucked in a deep breath of the cold mountain air, hoping the pain in her lungs would help clear her mind and make sense of the emotions tumbling through her.

  “Yes,” she said after a moment.

  “But...”

  But she was afraid. Afraid to trust her feelings after so long, especially when they could only lead to disappointment. Afraid to admit how much she cared for those girls after only a short time with them. Giving them back was going to be the hardest thing she’d ever done, but she still didn’t have a choice.

  If her cancer had taught her one thing it was that life was uncertain, and April’s life most of all. She’d tried making plans, had had her future mapped out and it had all turned to hell, leaving her alone and heartbroken. She couldn’t risk that again. In some ways it was easier with Connor as the bad guy. She could concentrate on his issues instead of her own failings. But a Connor willing to try was another thing entirely.

  “I’m glad,” she answered finally.

  “You’re a bad liar,” he said with a small laugh, and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. He wasn’t wearing gloves and she loved the warmth of his finger where it touched her cold skin.

  She’d stuffed her hat in her pocket after coming off the ice and now brushed her hair over one shoulder, then waved to the girls as they skated by. “I’m sure I have terrible hat hair.”

  “You look beautiful.” His hand slid around the back of her neck and pulled her closer. Nerves zipped around her stomach and she gazed into his dark eyes. “I don’t want to fight with you.” His lips brushed against hers, soft for a man with so many hard angles.

  “I work for you, Connor.”

  He nipped at the edge of her mouth. “You work for Crimson Ranch.”

  “You’re the guest,” she whispered, but when he would have pulled back she fused her mouth to his. It was reckless, but the past few years of being alone had suddenly become too much. She needed to kiss Connor Pierce like she needed her next breath.

  It was everything she’d imagined and nothing she expected. His lips were gentle, searching. He made her feel that they had all day to savor each other, instead of a few stolen moments while the girls were busy on the ice. He slanted his mouth over hers, but all too soon they broke apart.

  “I like being the guest,” he whispered as his hands dropped away.

  Her head felt fuzzy and she touched her fingertips to her lips, surprised they seemed to be the same as they were minutes earlier. Foolish as it was, that kiss had released something inside her that she hadn’t realized she’d shut away. It was more than awareness or attraction. She wanted Connor even though, in Crimson, she’d built her life around supporting others, never taking anything for herself.

  He waved to the girls and she fought to regain her composure as they came off the ice.

  “I’m getting cold,” Shay said, her teeth chattering. The sun had just started to dip behind the mountain and the temperature was already dropping. April was used to the double-digit fluctuations in temperature from day to night in the mountains, but it was often a surprise to people new to Colorado. “Can we go home now?”

  Home.

  The truth came rushing back to April as guilt hit her like a punch to the gut. These girls had no home and neither did she. Yes, she had a cozy apartment in town but it wasn’t the same as a home. Not for her. It was a place to keep her belongings and a base of operations. Nothing more. She hadn’t had a real home since she’d packed her bags and walked out of the sprawling Mediterranean house she’d shared with her husband.

  The fact that Shay could lose her mother and be taken from the only home she’d ever known and, in the space of a day, think of a temporary cabin as home humbled April. She was used to friends coming to her for advice but realized she had so much to learn about hope and resilience from these girls.

  “Yes,” she said, swallowing around the lump in her throat. “Let’s go home.”

  They walked to the car in the waning afternoon light, Shay chattering the whole way as she held on to Connor’s hand. A few kind words and all was forgiven. April wished it was so easy as an adult.

  Ranie, who was leading the way down the sidewalk, suddenly stopped. “Be quiet,” she said on a hiss of breath. “Listen.”

  All four of them stood in silence next to the Jeep.

  “I don’t hear anything,” April whispered, but then she did. A tiny sound. Definitely a meow.

  Oh, no.

  Ranie held out her hand, eyes trained on the snow-covered garbage can near the corner. Dark was coming now and shadows filled the space under and around the metal can. “Give me your phone. Please.”

  April dug in her purse and then handed it over.

  The girl flipped on the flashlight app and shone the light toward the trash can. Two yellow eyes stared out at them.

  Connor moved closer and crouched down.

  “Be careful,” April whispered.

  Connor threw her a look. “It’s a kitten.”

  “It sounds like a kitten,” April argued. “Who knows if—”

  Shay clapped her hands. “It’s a kitten,” she shouted as Connor pulled the small animal out from under the trash can.

  “Shh.” Ranie handed the phone back to April before taking the bundle of fluff from Connor. “You’ll scare him.”

  “He’s tiny,” Shay whispered, her eyes double their normal size.

  “He’s freezing.” Ranie tucked the small animal into her parka.

  “Me, too,” her sister said.

  April hit the remote-start button on her key fob. “Everyone in the car. We’ll think better when we’re warm.”

  The girls climbed into the backseat while she and Connor got in the front. She flipped on the overhead light and turned toward the girls. “There’s an animal shelter just outside of town. If I call now—”

  Ranie shook her head and kept her gaze on the kitten. All April could see was a tuft of black hair peeking out of her coat.

  “We have to keep him,” Shay whispered, reaching out a finger to stroke the kitten’s fur.

  “He needs to see a vet.”

  “We’ll take him on the way home.”

  April threw Connor a “help me” look.

  “What will you name him?” he asked.

  “Not funny.” April swatted his arm. “Girls, you can’t keep him.”

  “Sure we can,” Ranie said, finally glancing up. “If you say yes. He’s purring.”

  “I can hear him,” Shay said. “Can I hold him?”

  Ranie shook her head. “Not until we get back to the cabin. He’s warm in my coat.”

  “He can be warm in my coat.”

  “We’re not taking him to the cabin,” April told them, struggling to keep her voice even. “We’re taking him to the animal shelter.” She pulled out her phone. “I know the woman who runs it. She does a great job matching animals with homes.”

  “He has a home,” Shay announced. “With us.” April started to argue just as the girl added, “Mommy sent him.”

  “Well played,” Connor whispered under his breath.

  April narrowed her eyes at him, the
n adjusted in her seat so she could talk directly to the girls. The car had warmed enough that she could no longer see her breath, and both Ranie and Shay had pink-tinged cheeks and shiny eyes.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I told Mommy I wanted a puppy for Christmas, but she said they were too much work but maybe we could get a kitten.”

  April bit the inside of her cheek to keep from cursing. “When did she tell you that?”

  “Halloween.” Shay smiled. “I dressed up like a doggy.” She petted the kitten’s head again. “But I love cats, too.”

  At the end of October Jill would have known only a miracle could ensure another Christmas with her girls. The fact that she’d made the promise at that point in her illness was so like her. And now April was here to deal with the aftermath and this sweet girl’s expectations.

  She glanced at Connor. “You can’t think it’s a good idea that we bring a kitten to the cabin.”

  “It’s not coming to my cabin.” He shrugged. “Besides, I like cats.”

  “If Connor Grumpy Pants likes cats, we have to keep him,” Ranie said with a giggle.

  Connor pointed at her. “Respect your elders.”

  She only laughed more.

  April shook her head. How had she become the outsider in this group? She straightened in her seat and wrapped her fingers around the steering wheel. She’d gone from being responsible for herself to worrying about these girls, this man and now a kitten.

  “We still have to get to a vet,” she muttered. “I don’t know a lot about cats, but that kitten is just a baby. He should be with his mama.”

  “Ranie’s his mama now,” Shay said, wonder in her voice. “I’m his auntie. What if he’s a girl?”

  “The vet will be able to tell us,” Connor offered. “Maybe you should wait to name him until we find out.”

  “This doesn’t mean I’m keeping him forever,” April said as she threw the car into gear and eased onto the road. The traffic in the downtown had lightened as darkness unfolded. She flicked a glance at the clock on the dash. “One of the local vets is a yoga client of mine. We’ll head to her office.”

  “Sucker,” Connor whispered.

  April rolled her eyes. “You know the constant commentary doesn’t help.”

  “It makes me happy, and it’s good when the guest is happy.”

  * * *

  An hour later and a hundred dollars lighter, April pointed her car toward Crimson Mountain. Darkness had fallen completely and only the muted silhouette of the peak was visible under the soft moonlight. The wide-open spaces they drove past on either side of the highway were dotted with the soft glow of the various properties situated outside of town. Sometimes when she’d driven back to town from Crimson Ranch, she’d thought about the houses filled with happy families gathered around their kitchen tables and imagined what it would be like to have a family of her own.

  Now she had a full car and more people depending on her than she would have ever guessed, not to mention a new pet. She almost giggled from the absurdity of the way her life had changed so quickly. Oblivious to her musings, the girls sat in the backseat, both of their heads bent over the kitten, which now slept in a tiny ball curled inside Shay’s jacket.

  It had taken quite a bit of coaxing for Ranie to share him. The girl had kept the kitten, whom they’d named Jingle after he was confirmed a boy, close during the visit to the vet and a trip to the local pet store for supplies.

  The vet had guessed him to be about seven weeks old, too young to be away from his mama and littermates. But he was on his own, so they’d received instructions on how to care for a baby kitten, and even purchased a bottle from the pet shop so the girls could feed him with it.

  April felt a bit of panic at the thought of all it would take to keep the small ball of fluff alive and healthy in the next few weeks. She liked animals and dog-sat for a few of her friends, but she’d never been solely responsible for an animal. Growing up, her mother had been fastidious about the house and had never entertained the idea of a pet. Even a goldfish had been deemed too much mess. Her ex-husband had felt the same way, and April had never questioned either rule or the fact that she had no input making it.

  Now she knew why. The kitten terrified her.

  “He’s going to be fine,” Connor said softly, as if he could read her thoughts. “If he survived living under that trash can, your cabin is going to seem like the Taj Mahal.”

  She adjusted the radio so that the sound was playing from the speakers in the back of the SUV and turned up the volume. “I can’t keep him,” she whispered, sliding a glance at Connor, “and I doubt the girls’ aunt will let them bring him to her house.”

  “Then think of it as being a foster mom for a couple of weeks. He’s with you until he’s old enough to be adopted by a family who wants him.”

  “Do you have any pets at home?”

  His mouth thinned. “Not anymore.”

  April sucked in a breath. “You don’t mean—”

  “My wife, Margo, had a dog. He’d been hers before we were married and was almost twelve. She loved that mutt like a second child. After the accident, I couldn’t—” He broke off, cleared his throat. “Her parents took him. It gave them some comfort to take care of something she’d loved so much.”

  “But not you?”

  He cleared his throat. “I didn’t deserve any comfort.”

  The words broke another piece of her heart for this man. She reached for his hand just as headlights from the other side of the two-lane highway cut through the night. At the same time, the Jeep’s headlights caught on a huge shape in the middle of the highway. A few stray elk crossing. April slammed on the brakes and dimly registered Shay’s high-pitched scream as the back end of the SUV fishtailed across a patch of ice.

  Luckily, most of the road was dry and the car lurched to a stop as one of the massive animals turned to look at her. Illuminated in the beam of headlights, the elk’s dark eyes shone. It paused for only a moment, then trotted across the double yellow line and off the shoulder to follow the others. The truck on the other side of the road had skidded across the median, and then jackknifed directly in her path. The driver rolled down his window and waved before taking off again.

  Forcing her fingers to relax their death grip on the steering wheel, she pulled off the highway onto the gravel shoulder. She flipped on the car’s interior light and turned to the backseat. “We’re fine,” she said, meeting both Ranie and Shay’s frightened gazes. “Clearly, I still have a ways to go at mastering the art of winter driving in Colorado. Is the kitten safe?”

  Shay nodded, opening her arms to show the small animal sleeping peacefully. April smiled despite the adrenaline pounding through her. Her smile disappeared when she flicked a glance at Connor. He sat completely still, staring unfocused out the windshield into the darkness. His fingers were pressed to either side of his temple like his head was pounding.

  “It’s okay,” she whispered, placing her hand on his arm.

  He flinched away from her touch. “Get me to the cabin,” he said through clenched teeth.

  She realized in an instant that whatever he was seeing out the front of the SUV had nothing to do with tonight and everything that involved the accident that had claimed his family. Once again, she wanted to wrap him in her arms and offer whatever comfort she could. Whatever he would take.

  “Connor, this wasn’t the same—”

  “Now,” he demanded. “Drive me back now.”

  The range of emotions in his voice overwhelmed her. Desperation. Panic. Anger. Worse was the fear pouring off him in waves, as if it were a physical force she could reach out and touch. It felt like he was holding on to his composure—and maybe his sanity—by the thinnest thread.

  Pulling back onto the darkened highway, she pasted a smile on her face
. “Well, this day has turned out to be quite an adventure,” she said brightly to the girls.

  Shay smiled back at her in the rearview mirror, but Ranie was watching Connor.

  “That’s one resilient little cat,” April continued, hitting the button to turn off the interior light. She had a feeling Connor needed the darkness outside to mask whatever demons were pummeling him from the inside.

  He’d made progress today. All of them had. Despite her doubts, she’d wanted to believe there had been some real healing. Now she worried that for the man sitting next to her, any effort she made might never be enough.

  Chapter Six

  “How’s the kitten?”

  At the sound of Connor’s voice, April whirled around in the cabin’s quiet kitchen. The plate she was unloading from the dishwasher crashed to the floor and splintered into a dozen pieces, much like her nerves.

  She hadn’t seen Connor since they’d returned from town to Cloud Cabin two days ago. He’d darted from the Jeep even before she’d come to a complete stop and disappeared without another word. The girls and the cat had needed her attention, so she’d settled them in the caretaker’s cabin before returning to the main cabin to look for him. But there had been no answer when she’d called his name. Obviously, he was there. Where else would he have gone? But as much as she wanted to force him to talk to her, it wasn’t her place.

  What did she have to offer him anyway?

  She’d made a simple dinner of soup and salad and left it on a tray outside the bedroom door, then returned to her cabin to make dinner for the girls. She’d come back after they’d gone to bed to find the dishwasher loaded and running but no other outward signs of him.

  She’d been tempted to call Sara on her vacation and walk away from this job. They’d been here less than a week. Surely Sara could find someone to take April’s place. She could move the girls to her small apartment in town or get in the car and drive to the coast. They could rent a house on the beach for the holiday, something that felt like a vacation. Something that wouldn’t feel like real life or a glimpse at a future she was too scared to grasp.