His Secret Starlight Baby Read online

  He chuckled. “More like the NFL retirement business after having my knee blown out on national television.”

  She tore her gaze from the house and focused on him again. “I’m sorry that happened to you.”

  “Not your fault,” he said and climbed out of the vehicle.

  She exited and then unhooked Ben’s infant seat and lifted it out, as well.

  “I can take it,” Jordan said as he came to stand a few feet away.

  Some tiny part of her resisted handing the carrier over to him, which was ridiculous. She’d sought out her baby’s father. Of course he’d want to hold the boy.

  “Thanks.” She gave Jordan the carrier, and he hooked an arm under the handle, then headed for the house.

  “Did you have to do a lot of work on this place when you moved in?”

  He shook his head. “I bought it from a Seattle couple who’d used it as a weekend retreat. They’d totally remodeled the interior, although I added an outdoor living area in back.”

  “Divorce?” she guessed.

  “After twenty years,” he confirmed. “It was sad, actually, although I got lucky with the property.”

  “I wonder if the statistic that people throw around about fifty percent of marriages ending in divorce is accurate. Sometimes it seems like it should be higher. Can you imagine being with someone for two decades and then walking away?”

  He shrugged. “Some people stay married even when divorce is a better option.”

  Was he talking about his own parents? She knew he’d had a difficult relationship with his father, which had led to challenges with his mom due to her loyalty to her husband.

  “I heard a rumor Kade is getting married,” she said, then wished she’d kept her mouth shut.

  Jordan’s gaze cut to hers. “Does that bother you?”

  “No. He called a bunch after I left Atlanta, trying to convince me to come back, and...” She shook her head as she thought about what her ex-boyfriend had suggested she do to handle the pregnancy. “It doesn’t matter. I didn’t want to return to that life or raise a child in the midst of it.”

  Jordan didn’t say anything in response as he opened the front door and then stepped aside to let her enter first.

  “No lock?”

  One corner of his mouth lifted into a smirk. “I’m too far out of town for locks. Actually, I’m not sure if anyone in Starlight locks their doors. It’s the kind of town where a person feels safe.”

  Cory had trouble imagining a world where she’d feel safe. Safe from heartache, disappointment and the constant worry about providing a good life for her son. But she was more than ready to try.

  Chapter Three

  Jordan filled two glasses with water and tamped down the maelstrom of emotion surging through his veins. He glanced over his shoulder to see Cory lifting the baby—his baby—over her head. She grinned and cooed sweet words, bringing Ben close enough to shower him with kisses and then lifting him again.

  The boy loved the game, laughing and waving his arms before curling his chubby fingers into his mother’s hickory-colored hair.

  She’d been beautiful when he first met her in Atlanta. One glance at her soft caramel-colored eyes and that sweet smile, and he’d lost a bit of his hardened heart. She seemed more herself now in a casual sweatshirt and faded jeans with no makeup and her hair holding a bit of natural curl. But to witness her so filled with love for her child took his reaction to a whole new level.

  One that wasn’t smart for either of them.

  He’d told himself his night with Cory had been a fling, although somewhere deep inside he knew that was a lie. But it had been easier than admitting he’d fallen for a woman he had no right to want.

  She clearly hadn’t wanted anything to do with him after sneaking out of his bed the morning after. He might not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but she’d given him a pretty straightforward hint as to what being with him meant to her.

  Jordan’s plan had been to leave Atlanta when his lease ended. He’d known his injury would end his career. It said something about his commitment that after seven seasons with the same team, he was still renting a basic condo near downtown instead of buying a place of his own. So it was easy to move up the time frame for leaving. His injury during the playoff game that season signaled the end to his NFL career, which he hadn’t found as upsetting as he probably should have.

  By the time he got to that point, he’d lost much of his love of the game. It had simply become a job for him, and since Jordan didn’t care for the trappings of pro-athlete fame, it hadn’t been hard to walk away from his career and start over. He’d returned to Washington but come to Starlight because he liked the small-town feel and the bar was an easy business to manage. Jordan discovered that after so many years of pushing himself, he appreciated ease.

  Forgetting Cory had been anything but easy.

  He’d managed eventually—or so he’d thought—but now here she was, sitting on his leather couch, looking like she belonged in his world. He didn’t want to admit how much he liked seeing her in his space, how her reaction to the unique beauty of his home had made his chest ache with yearning.

  She was there because they needed to work out plans for raising a child together. Nothing more.

  Sleep had been elusive last night. Jordan had spent hours combing the internet to learn the specifics about Ben’s surgery. He’d finally drifted off only to wake in a cold sweat an hour later, panic gripping at the thought that Cory might change her mind and leave town.

  He would have tracked her down, of course. She might not expect much from the men in her life, but Jordan would never shirk his parental responsibility, even though he didn’t know the first thing about being a father.

  The only certainty was that he would do it differently than his own father had. Looking into Ben’s eyes—his gaze both familiar and not—had upended Jordan’s world. He’d never intended to start a family of his own, but he would do his best no matter what.

  “He’s happy this morning.” Jordan placed the two waters on the coffee table and started to take a seat in one of the chairs across from the sofa. He’d hosted the bar’s holiday party at his house last year but otherwise hadn’t had many visitors to his home. It hadn’t felt lonely before. He liked the solitude. But he had the feeling he’d notice the silence in a different way once Cory and the baby went back to town.

  “Do you want to hold him?” she asked, her gaze both expectant and hopeful.

  “I might break him,” Jordan answered automatically, but he straightened and took a step closer, heart thudding dully.

  “You’ll do fine.” She shifted on the sofa to make room and then reached out and tugged on his hand. The gentle touch made Jordan’s lungs squeeze as he remembered how soft Cory’s skin was—everywhere.

  Keeping his features steady so she didn’t realize her effect on him, he sat down next to her. She transferred Ben to his arms, and he felt the baby tense slightly, like he was unsure about being handed off to a stranger.

  Jordan didn’t blame the kid, but he also hated the thought that he was a stranger to his own child. The reminder that he’d been robbed of the first six months with his boy was the splash of cold water his heart needed to go icy again.

  “Relax,” Cory urged in her sweet voice. “He’s an easy baby. Last night he was overtired, which is why he fussed so much. Normally he has a sunny attitude.”

  “Are you a ray of sunshine?” Jordan asked, amazed at how solid such a small creature felt in his arms. Ben’s green gaze locked on Jordan’s as his mouth widened into a toothless grin.

  Jordan held the baby’s torso and turned him. Ben planted his feet on Jordan’s denim-clad legs and bounced up and down, smiling the entire time.

  “He’s really active, too,” Cory said with a laugh. She rose from the sofa. “Shoot. I left the diaper bag in your truc
k. His toys and a blanket are in there. We can put him on the floor to play while we talk.”

  “Wait. You aren’t leaving me alone with him.” So much for steady. Even Jordan recognized the panic in his own voice.

  “Only for a minute.” She patted his shoulder as she moved past him. “You’ll be fine.”

  Jordan wasn’t convinced, but arguing would make him sound like a complete wussy. He’d faced off against the toughest defensemen the NFL had to offer, so why was he terrified of one small baby?

  “Don’t cry,” he told the child, who shoved a fist into his mouth in response. “Please.”

  To his great relief, Ben seemed content to bob up and down and stare at Jordan.

  “I like to see you starting squats early,” Jordan told him when he finally started to relax. “They’re important for overall leg strength. You might want to give it a rest on chewing your own hand. I’m not sure if you realize it, but the sleeve of your shirt is already soaked in drool.”

  “He’s teething,” Cory explained as she returned.

  “That diaper bag–retrieval mission took five hours,” Jordan stated. “But Ben and I managed just fine, so you know.”

  She laughed again. “You’re a natural.”

  Hardly, based on the relief he felt when she took the baby from him. She placed him on his back on the colorful fleece blanket she’d spread across the rug and handed him a plastic telephone that played obnoxious, tinny music.

  “Have you introduced him to Luke Bryan?” Jordan asked as she sat next to him.

  Her brows drew together. “Not officially, although we listened to a lot of country stations on the drive out here.”

  Jordan nodded. “Music is important. He needs to know the classics of country, rock and blues. Also how to swing a bat the right way and how to change a tire. I see too many kids around town who don’t know the first thing about car maintenance. It’s a sad turn of events.”

  “Whoa, there.” Cory held up a hand. “He’s six months old. Right now we’re working on solid foods. Car mechanics come a bit down the road.”

  “Right.” Jordan scrubbed a hand over his jaw. “But I’m going to be there for all of it. I want to be clear on that, Cory. Ben is my son, and I’m going to be a part of his life forever.”

  * * *

  Cory wasn’t sure how to describe the riot of feelings that comprised her response to Jordan’s declaration. Her body’s response to him. A day of stubble darkened his jaw, and the laugh lines around his green eyes captivated her. Everything about him appealed to her, and that was not good. Of course, his willingness to step up as a parent was what she wanted for her son—a father who would be there for every phase of his life.

  When she’d made the promise to her grandmother that she’d introduce Ben to his father, she hadn’t thought about what it would mean for her own life. Yes, it was a relief to think about having a partner in parenting, but having Jordan involved also meant she’d be relinquishing control. It meant that Ben would spend time with his dad away from her. There would be custody arrangements and coparenting challenges.

  She might be giving up as much as she was gaining.

  The thought didn’t sit well.

  At the same time, she was humbled by Jordan’s immediate acceptance of the situation and the sincerity of his commitment. There was no doubt in her mind that he’d be a great father. He had financial security, owned his own business and lived in a town that was just about picture-perfect.

  Cory had her gran’s old Buick and a trunk full of everything she owned in the world. No college degree, no career to speak of and not one friend she could call for moral support.

  The idea her son could grow up to be disappointed by her strengthened her resolve to make something of her life. She refused to go down the same path her mom had traveled, constantly scrambling and struggling to make her romantic relationships work. Her mom had terrible taste in men. She picked boyfriends who were selfish and treated her like an afterthought.

  Cory thought about everything she’d done to fit into Kade’s world. She’d wanted him to love her in the same way he loved football and the fame that came with it. But that was never going to happen, and she wished she’d accepted the truth long before she did. She felt a bone-deep commitment to protecting her heart going forward so she’d have more of it to give to Ben.

  “I’m here so you can be a part of his life,” Cory said, relieved when her voice didn’t tremble. “I want you to have a relationship with him, Jordan. The next step is to figure out how that’s going to work for all of us.”

  Jordan nodded and looked at her in a way that had awareness zinging along her nerve endings. The weight of his gaze seemed to hold the promise of what might have been. “I don’t mean how you and I will work,” she clarified. “There’s no you and I, of course.”

  “Of course,” he murmured in that rumbly tone. “Also, I assume you’re planning to stay in Starlight. This is my home and I want Ben close.”

  Her first instinct was to argue, because somehow the assumption grated at her. With the few details she’d given him about her life since he’d left Atlanta, Jordan didn’t know that she was basically on her own and homeless with little savings and fewer prospects back in Michigan.

  She’d told him about the promise to Gran, and he knew about her strained relationship with her mom. But that was it. As far as he was concerned, Cory had a great life in Michigan. Her grandmother might have left her a secret fortune in the old car’s glove box.

  Never mind none of that was anywhere near the truth.

  Before she could answer, the shrill ring of his cell phone sounded from the kitchen counter. Ben moved his head in the direction of the noise, overly loud in the silence that had settled in the house.

  “Let me check who it is.” Jordan stood and stepped over the baby’s blanket, easy with his long legs. Cory did her best not to notice how the faded denim conformed to the muscles of his thighs. She almost smiled as she thought of the fact that tight end, his football position, was the perfect description of the man himself.

  She got up off the couch and went to sit on the floor next to Ben, surreptitiously watching Jordan’s reaction to whoever was on the other end of the line. He sent the call to voice mail, and the phone almost immediately began to ring again.

  He hit the mute button and then quickly punched in and sent a text. A moment later the phone dinged with a response, and he frowned at the screen, his thick brows drawn together.

  “Persistent girlfriend?” she asked, trying to sound casual when he returned to the family room.

  “My mother,” he said tightly.

  “Is everything okay?”

  He shrugged. “I have to make a quick trip to my hometown tomorrow morning. Family function. I’ll be gone for a couple of days.”

  “Okay.” She nodded, unsure what to make of his darkening mood. “I have the hotel room booked for another night. After that, I need to figure out where to—”

  “You should go with me,” he said suddenly.

  Cory blinked. “To your family function?”

  “Yeah.” Jordan nodded as if he was working out the details in his mind. “I grew up outside Spokane. It’s about two hours from here. If we leave around eight—”

  “I haven’t agreed to anything,” Cory protested. “Even if I was willing to go with you, won’t your family think it’s odd?” She smoothed a hand over Ben’s soft forehead. “You were the one who said he has your father’s eyes. Your dad might be a bit shocked when you show up with a baby who looks like him.”

  “My dad won’t be shocked,” Jordan answered, his tone frigid enough to freeze water. “I haven’t seen anyone in my family since I moved back to Washington. They don’t know a thing about my current life, other than I own a bar in a town they have no intention of visiting. This is actually perfect. You and Ben come with me, and that
will distract everyone. They’ll be too busy focusing on the baby to remind me how badly I screwed up my life by having the stupid luck to be injured in that game.”

  “They can’t blame you for the injury,” Cory told him, her brain firing on a dozen cylinders. There were things Jordan wasn’t telling her about his relationship with his family and what this trip meant. Despite her reservations, she didn’t like the thought of anyone trying to make him feel guilty for something he had no control over. She’d dealt with plenty of that in her life, and it was awful.

  “Please come with me.” He closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them again, and the pain she saw in their depths sliced across her heart.

  His eyes were so similar to her baby’s, and she hated the thought that anything would ever cause Ben to look that way. “This situation is complicated, which isn’t exactly my comfort zone. It might be helpful if we could spend a couple of days getting to know each other again before we make any definite decisions about the plan for going forward. You can think about whether you want to stay in Starlight.”

  He offered a tentative smile. “I hope you decide you will. I can’t imagine a better place to raise a child.”

  “Do you have a girlfriend?” she blurted, then pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. It was none of her business, but the thought of Jordan raising children with some gorgeous mountain woman made an unwelcome pit of jealousy open in her stomach.

  He frowned and shook his head. “Do you have a boyfriend?”

  She rolled her eyes. “I barely have time to brush my teeth. Men are way too much work for me right now.”

  “Good to know.” He drew in a deep breath, his chest rising and falling under the flannel shirt. “Will you go with me, Cory? You and Ben. I promise I’ll make sure you have time for teeth brushing while we’re away.”

  That simple vow made her smile. It was ludicrous to agree to it. She and Jordan needed to come up with a custody agreement, not get to know each other. But for the first time in as long as she could remember, Cory didn’t feel the heavy weight of stress and responsibility. Her life wasn’t much to speak of at the moment. What would be the harm in delaying decisions about the future for a few days? She could attend whatever wedding or family reunion he had to make an appearance at, and it might even be fun. At least there would probably be lots of free food.