Tell Me Again Read online

  “What about after she died?” Sam asked, hating the hint of desperation in her tone.

  The years after Bryce’s death had been a spiral of self-destruction, with all of Bryce’s troubles manifesting through Sam. Even though their twin link had been severed, she missed Bryce so much that for a long time it felt like it would be easier to follow her into death than to continue to live.

  When she finally pulled herself out of the abyss, she’d founded Bryce Hollow Camp. Here in Colorado, the loss of her other half wasn’t so acute. She’d devoted the last five years to helping at-risk kids, because she hadn’t been able to help her twin despite repeated attempts to intervene and cajole Bryce into rehab.

  To find out all her work with the camp had been done in honor of a sister who hadn’t even wanted Sam to know her own niece was a devastating blow. Bryce had not only left Sam behind, she’d also stolen her chance with the child who remained a link between them. “You could have found me.”

  “Grace is everything to me,” Trevor said without apology. “From the time they put her in my arms, my whole world has been focused on keeping her safe. I wanted to give her a good life. A simple, happy life. The kind kids deserve.” He gentled his tone. “The kind neither of us had.”

  “I would have helped.”

  Something close to regret passed through his blue eyes, but he said, “You would have been a complication.”

  Sam closed her eyes as another round of pain lanced through her. How many hits could she take without crumpling to the ground under the force of them? She locked her knees and tipped up her chin. “You’ve got yourself a hell of a complication now.”

  His expression darkened even more. “I didn’t know you were in Colorado when we moved here.” He blew out a breath. “We’re in the mountains, so it shouldn’t be a problem. Grace doesn’t get down to Denver very often.”

  “Are you serious?” Sam jabbed a finger at him. “She tracked me down. I’m not your dirty little secret anymore. The horse has left the barn, buddy. No sense in closing the stable door now.”

  “Tell her you don’t want to see her again.”

  Sam felt her mouth drop open at the lunacy of that statement. “No.”

  “If you love her, you’ll do this.”

  “Love her? I just met her.” But as soon as she’d recognized Grace, Sam’s heart had opened and expanded in ways she hadn’t realized were possible. Other than her girlfriends here in Denver, Sam had never let anyone close to her. She had a few friends around the neighborhood and her staff at the camp, but she’d never wanted to open herself up to the vulnerability of really loving someone. Not when she understood how bad it could hurt.

  But Grace was different. She was a part of Sam. A part of Bryce.

  “Do it for your sister,” Trevor said, his voice a soft command. “It’s what Bryce wanted.”

  “She was out of her mind,” she said, shaking her head. “Between the drugs and the alcohol—”

  “She stayed sober during the pregnancy. I made sure of it.”

  Acid rose in Sam’s throat as she thought about the timing of her sister’s last message. It would have been when Bryce was pregnant. She’d said she needed help with something important. Sam had assumed it was one more manipulation by her twin that would lead to another request for drug money.

  “Then you just walked away while she sank back into the pills and booze?”

  His lips—which had pretty much ruined her for all other men with one kiss—thinned. “You don’t want to go down the pot and kettle road with me.”

  “I don’t want to go down any road with you,” she agreed. “But I’m not walking away from Grace.”

  “You have no claim on her.”

  “This isn’t Sam’s fault,” a sleepy voice said from the doorway.

  They both turned to see Grace standing there, shoulders slumped and her hands hanging listlessly at her sides. Frank barked once then trotted over and shoved his nose against Trevor’s crotch.

  “I wish he knew a bite command,” Sam muttered under her breath.

  Trevor threw her a look as he shifted and petted the dog’s big head.

  “Dad, I know you’re mad,” Grace said, taking a tentative step into the room. “But I came looking for her. I just wanted to know . . . I thought Sam was my . . .” She broke off as her shoulders began to tremble.

  In two strides, Trevor had the girl wrapped in his arms. His chin rested on the top of her head and she buried her face in his chest, crying softly. “It’s ok,” he murmured over and over, holding her tight.

  Sam’s heart squeezed, and she was grateful when Frank pressed his head against her leg. The moment felt too intimate, and she was an outsider. Once again, it was a reminder she was well and truly alone. After Bryce died, Sam had made the choice to keep a piece of herself walled off from everyone in her life.

  No, she hadn’t chosen. Not really. Her mistakes and the pain of loss made building walls around her heart the only option. But watching Grace hold on to her father like a lifeline, Sam still couldn’t muster her earlier anger.

  She did love the girl at first sight, but Grace wanted a mother. Sam couldn’t be that for her. She was afraid of being the same kind of disappointment her own mother had been. Besides, there was too much messed-up history between them to believe Trevor would give her a chance to try.

  After a few minutes, Grace stopped crying. She pulled back, her pale blue eyes shimmering as she looked up at her dad. “It’s really ok?” she asked, wiping her cheeks on the back of one sleeve. “You’re not mad?”

  “First, I’m glad you’re safe,” Trevor said, running a hand over the girl’s loose braid. “Your safety always comes first with me.” He was so damn gentle, Sam felt her insides quiver. That was going to get her nowhere, but she couldn’t force her nerves to settle. “Secondly, yes I’m mad. And you’re grounded. And I’m taking your phone and your computer. To run away—”

  “I didn’t run away. Monica’s sister’s boyfriend is in college in Denver. He drove me down.”

  “So you took a ride with a stranger?” Trevor pinched the bridge of his nose. “Not making me feel better, Gracie.”

  Grace groaned and stepped out of his embrace. “Dad, come on,” she whined. “That’s so not fair.” She stomped one booted foot. “This is your fault for lying to me in the first place.”

  Oh, the wonder of teenagers. Grace went from sweet daddy’s girl to persecuted martyr in a split second. Sam almost felt sorry for Trevor, raising this girl on his own. Then she remembered the reason he was alone. Because he’d kept the truth from her.

  Another thought punched her gut—maybe he wasn’t alone. Chances were there was a woman somewhere pining to be Grace’s stepmother. Sam shook her head, needing to keep focused on the present situation and not the once-upon-a-time dreams she’d had of becoming Mrs. Trevor Kincaid.

  “I said your mother died,” Trevor said, the steel returning to his tone. “That’s the truth.”

  Grace didn’t seem affected. “Only part of it. You also told me you didn’t have pictures of her.”

  “I don’t, Grace. You know the photo you found wasn’t your mom.” He took a deep breath and said softly, “You should have come to me if you were curious about her.”

  “How could I come to you? You got so angry anytime I asked questions.”

  “Not at you, sweetie. Never at you.”

  She sniffed. “I found the picture of Sam in a box in the basement, and I thought maybe my mom wasn’t dead. I hoped . . . she might be . . . you told me I had no family other than you and Nana.”

  “That’s not a lie.”

  “Um, hello,” Sam said, taking a step forward. “I’m her family.”

  “Not in any way that counts.” He blew out a breath. “Bryce wanted—”

  “Bryce is dead,” Sam yelled and saw both Trevor and Grace flinch. Too bad. He wanted to use her sister’s memory to manipulate her, but there was no guilt or blame he could ascribe that she hadn’t a
lready assimilated into every fiber of her being. “I understand she was angry, but I also know she would want me to be a part of Grace’s life now. She was my twin, Trevor. I know.”

  “Dad, you can’t do this.” Grace’s expression had turned as steely as her father’s. This girl might look like the Carlton women, but she got her stubborn streak from both sides of the gene pool. “I’ll run away for real this time. I’ll skip school and I’ll . . . hitchhike.”

  “Whoa, there.” Sam held up her hands, palms out. “We’ll find a way to work this out, but you won’t skip school or hitch a ride down from the mountains.”

  Trevor spun toward her. “She’s not your responsibility. You don’t get to make rules.”

  Sam snorted in response. “You want her hitchhiking?”

  “Hell, no.”

  “Then don’t give me grief for telling her not to.”

  He moved closer, into her personal space. “She’s not yours.”

  Grace put her hands on her hips. “You two realize you’re arguing about something you agree on?”

  They both glanced at the girl and then Sam met Trevor’s dark blue gaze and saw one side of his mouth begin to lift. She turned away. He was the enemy. He’d wronged her, and she was too raw right now to handle anything but animosity from him.

  Yet she understood his reasons for doing what he had. And as much as she craved getting to know Grace, Sam wasn’t exactly well known for her caring, maternal personality. A few years earlier, her party-girl antics had almost eclipsed her modeling fame, and it was hard to live down that kind of reputation. What if she screwed up her chance with Grace? What if she failed her the way she had Bryce?

  She placed a hand on the girl’s shoulder. “I want the opportunity to get to know you.” She let out a sigh before forcing herself to add, “But your dad will make that decision. He wants what’s best and has clearly done a great job of raising you.” Her heartbeat calmed as memory took over. It had been so long since she’d allowed herself to revisit the unique bond she had with her sister. “There’s so much I want to tell you about your mother.”

  She heard a sound from Trevor that might have been a growl but ignored it. “Bryce had the biggest personality of anyone I’ve ever known. You look just like her.”

  “Just like you,” Grace replied, her voice catching on the last word.

  Sam shook her head. “There’s something in your eyes, a sparkle, that Bryce had.” She laughed softly. “Hardly anyone could tell us apart, but there was always a difference. Even our mom got us mixed up, and we took advantage of that to play so many tricks on her. Only . . .” She stopped, drew in a shallow breath as her heart started to race again. “Your dad was the only person who never confused us.”

  “Really?” Grace asked, looking at Trevor.

  He shrugged and Sam wondered if he was having as much difficulty controlling his emotions as she was hers. She told herself she’d learned from her mother’s mistakes and would do better with Grace than her mom had with her. Sam might be scared, but she wasn’t resentful or manipulative the way her mom had been. Most importantly, she could not walk away from this girl.

  “Please, Trevor,” she said softly, her palms sweating. “Give us a chance.”

  “You can’t stop me from contacting her,” Grace added, still so sure of herself and her father’s love that it gave her the freedom to say exactly what she felt. Sam and Bryce had never had that with their mother, not if they didn’t want to be backhanded for sassing. Sam had been backhanded more times than she could count.

  “My terms,” he muttered after a moment. “We’ll do this on my terms.”

  Sam felt her body sag with relief and then tense again as, a moment later, Grace was plastered against her, thin arms snaked around her waist.

  Sam blinked and met Trevor’s unreadable gaze over the top of Grace’s head. Tears pricked the back of her eyes and she looked away. She hadn’t cried in years, and this was no time to start.

  The girl was bouncing on her toes now, all thoughts of sleep and tears banished in the glow of getting her way. “I’m sorry you’re not my mom, but I can’t wait to spend time with you,” she said, her voice hesitant but hopeful. “I can’t believe you were really a famous model. Do you have any of the clothes you wore? Will you help me break into the business? Maybe we can do a spa-night sleepover.”

  Sam didn’t know where to begin with answers or even if they were expected. She’d walked away from that world and had no intention of looking back.

  To her relief, Trevor held up his hands. “Hold on, Gracie. I told you my terms. We’re taking this slow. I’m sure Sam is busy, and you’ve got school. You can’t be running down to Denver all the time. Did you bring anything with you?”

  “My backpack,” the girl mumbled, her excitement effectively squashed.

  “Go get it. Sam and I will work out the details.”

  Grace groaned. “This is my life. You can’t just make decisions for me.”

  “If you’re lucky,” he said, leveling what Sam could only describe as a “dad stare” at her, “I won’t make the decision to lock you in your room for the next five years. Go, Grace. It’s late.”

  With an annoyed huff, Grace turned and disappeared into the family room where Sam had first found her.

  Suddenly the kitchen felt too quiet, the air still bristling with so many unspoken questions and accusations between her and Trevor. But underneath was a tiny ripple of gratitude that made her limbs tingle. He hadn’t said no, and getting to know her sister’s daughter was an unexpected gift, like a rainbow after a thunderstorm. She had the sudden urge to reach out to him, but instead pressed her fingers to her lips, surprised to find a smile there.

  “Actually, I’m up in your area quite a bit. I run a summer camp for disadvantaged kids out of Silver Springs.” She paused, remembering the day she’d had before her whole world had been turned upside down. “I’ll be at camp every day for at least the next month. Several of the cabins were badly damaged in the storm. The contractor I normally use retired last year, and I’m having trouble finding someone who can take on the repairs right away.”

  Trevor’s eyes widened and his head jerked back. “You don’t model anymore?”

  She shook her head.

  “Why?”

  The intensity with which he spoke the word confused her. “I’m a senior citizen when it comes to modeling,” she lied.

  “You’re thirty-one.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Yes, Trevor, I know my age. I retired a few years ago. That’s when I moved to Colorado. I’m too old.” That was only a kernel of the truth, but it was as much of it as she was willing to give.

  “Bullshit,” he shot back. “You’re more beautiful now than . . .”

  Her breath hitched, and she watched Trevor’s face go stony. Clearly an admission neither of them had been expecting.

  “Dad is a contractor,” Grace said, returning to the room with her backpack. “He can fix your cabins. He can build anything.”

  “No,” Sam and Trevor answered at the same time.

  “Why not?” Grace studied the two of them. “It’s the perfect solution. I can spend time with Sam after school and Dad will be there to chaperone.”

  “I build custom homes,” Trevor told Sam, saying the words slowly as if it was difficult to share any part of himself. “Things are busy right now.”

  “You could make it work,” Grace argued.

  “It’s fine,” Sam offered quickly. She had no trouble believing Trevor could fix anything, but the thought of having him at her camp—being so near to him—for any period of time made her skin flush and her knees go weak. Not a good combination. “I’ll figure it out.”

  “Dad, seriously, you need to do this.” Grace bent to give Frank a rub between the ears. He lifted his head then dropped it back to the hardwood floor. It was way past her dog’s bedtime, Sam thought, and then Grace stifled a yawn. Frank wasn’t the only one who should’ve been asleep at this hour.”

/>   “We’ll talk about this tomorrow,” Trevor said. “We’re heading home now.”

  “It was . . . um . . . nice to meet you.” Grace offered her hand, her expression suddenly shy and looking so young.

  Sam pulled the girl in for a hug and felt her breathe out a long sigh. “I’m glad you found me,” she whispered.

  Grace’s smile returned. “Me, too. I’m sorry that your sister . . . my mom . . .”

  “She would have loved you,” Sam told her, and Grace’s wide smile was an exact copy of Bryce’s.

  Trevor opened the door and handed Grace the keys. “I’ll be out in a minute.”

  With a small wave at Sam, Grace headed down the back steps.

  Sam blew out a breath and, without thinking, reached for Trevor’s hand. His fingers felt rough and warm against hers, and it was as if all the energy radiating through the room coalesced at the point where they touched. She drew back and wiped her hand against her jeans as if she could rub off the imprint of his skin on hers. After clearing her throat she said, “We’ll figure this out.”

  He stared down at his own hand, as if he wasn’t sure it belonged to his body. But when he lifted his gaze to hers, his eyes had gone hard again. “There’s no we, Sam, that involves you. I wasn’t kidding when I said this will happen on my terms. I know my daughter—my daughter—well enough to know she won’t let it be now that she’s met you. But if you do anything to hurt her—”

  So much for their truce. “Go to hell, Trevor,” she spit out before she could tamp down her temper. “You’re the one who’s hurt her by not telling her the truth. I don’t owe you any loyalty in this.”

  He flashed a smile so bitter it made chills break out across the back of her neck. “Your loyalty has only ever been to yourself, Samantha. Why would that change now?”

  And with that parting shot, he walked out.

  Sam pressed a hand to her stomach and realized she was trembling all over. All of the emotions she’d held in tonight—hell, since the moment she’d left her past behind in the rearview mirror so many years ago—came crashing down on her. The weight of them finally brought her to her knees.